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Computer
Computers are futuristic scary-to-old-people-who-deny-them-as-a-sign-of-the-world-ending technology that originated in 1662 when forty-two year old Jimmy Matthews created a device with the help of his friend while talking to him on his cell phone, as he was driving his car (which he, in a recorded interview, had said that driving in his car and talking on his cell phone at the same time was a mistake), and he finally put together the final piece of the set that he created over a course (of on and off) of about fifteen years. Computers can be described as being very "annoying" if you are an "average" [[person, due to the fact that they can freeze up, randomly go onto a different page and close out of that one, and often even shutting down due to an update that takes forever and doesn't even do anything. The term "computer" was coined by Frederick Bueler in 1876 when he was vacationing with his wife in Miami, Florida and he was given a device with a screen, keyboard, mouse, and monitor to play with while vacation, so he came up with the name "computer" and earned approximately $500 grand for doing so. Just for doing that. Seriously. Like, how does stuff like that happen? You gotta be really lucky, surely. Versions First generation (1961-1976) The first generation of computers could be considered to be when they first started getting popular back in the 1960's and they were like as big as an entire hotel room with, like, sixty-four stories or something. Computers back then weren't very affordable either, ranging from $1,235,435,656-much higher....and they didn't go down until the 1980's, but not even that much then. So people still had stuff to complain about during that time, because they always talked about how computers weren't affordable enough, and they even do that now, because people just suck, really. Second generation (1977-1991) The second generation of computers was from 1977 to 1991 and was when computers got smaller in size, going from the size of a hotel to the size of a hotel room, and having extra features with it, such as the ability to send spam and viruses to someone else via the Internet, even though that didn't come until the 1980's because Bill Gates was a little slow getting the Internet established and all. Third generation (1992-2000) In the third generation of computers, they got small enough to fit in your friggin microwave and people were so happy that they started going on killing sprees and getting in trouble, forcing them back into jail for several years, which made them angry again, due to the fact that they were very socially unaccepted people ultimately. This generation was nicknamed the "Bill Gates Computer Generation", due to the creative minds of several people who were too lazy to come up with a better name for it. This included Windows '92, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows 98.5, Windows 98.7, Windows September '98, Windows 2000, and Windows November '20, all of which really would suck to have nowadays. Fourth generation (2001-2006) Through the fourth generation of computers, all that was pretty much in it was the Windows XP, which everybody loved until the Windows Vista came out in 2007, but that's a part of the fifth and current generation, so sorry, that's not friggin included! What then! HA, what are you going to do about that!? Hm? Yeah, that's right. Yep. The XP included new features and all, but people got tired of them pretty quickly. So they were like "heh, screw this" and they were constantly waiting for a new version to come out, and had to wait all the way to the present. Fifth and current generation (2007-present) When the Windows Vista came out, everybody had to get it and check it out, because Windows had been lazy and hadn't created a new version of Windows Microsoft in over five years. And that was real dang stupid, too, because Windows Vista sucks because of how many problems it has and how many people hate it and will never use it at all, so they still use XP, and no one really blames them either. So the current generation is the newest Windows Vista sucks. Yep. Nothing more than that. Just suckish. Problems Computers have plenty of problems that many people just can't deal with. They'd love to just throw the computer out in their front yard and just forget about it, laughing maniacally, despite the fact of how much money they spent on getting the computer in the first place, especially if it was from Walmart, because their computers are pretty high. Problems with computers include freezing up, being stupid, acting weird, crashing five times a minute, being really slow, especially if you have Dial up, even though that's different, but then again, it's kinda not, but if you think about it, the computer really is kinda great overall if you look passed it's problems, because if you don't do that, it's just being "spoiled", according to the old people, and the old people are the ones who rant about it's problems anyway. So what the frig do they know? Do they even know what the frig they're talking about? See also *Internet *Cell phone *Car *Friend *Stupid *People Category:Technology